Reading 1 1 Cor 3:18-23
Responsorial Psalm Ps 24:1bc-2, 3-4ab, 5-6
Gospel Lk 5:1-11
"Let no one deceive himself! "
Oh no, dang it. I deceive myself all the time. Last week we had a family brunch after mass and someone said something that really hurt my feelings. I wasn't aware of it consciencely until Monday when I was talking to a friend. In the day that passed, I realized how high was pushing that person away and not relating as friendly or as intimately as I would usually do.
What I realized is the comment struck the core of who I was and a lot of pain from when I was younger. I understand today how I need to go back to that person explain how that comment affected me and what emotions I felt as a result of that. But I'm scared and it is now Thursday and I have still not done it.
Years ago I would have gotten angry and blame that person for being so rude and my anger would have been justified.
I think this is what, or at least one interpretation of, what the first reading talks about when it talks about being deceived and becoming a fool so as to become wise. The foolishness that I need to embrace is the embarrassment and shame I feel because of my hurt feelings and emotions and to put aside the blame and the anger and to admit to what happened to me inside at that moment and how I responded to it over the next couple of days.
I think of what Peter said in the gospel when he said "depart from me Lord for I am a sinful man." Because today I am aware of my lack of initiative and holding on to that resentment towards my family member where I think Peter's response in the gospel may be my first words if Jesus were to come to me today. Because I'm not doing what I know to do is right, and that's reconcile a relationship.
My responsibility in the relationship I know is not to fix the other person and tell them what they did was wrong and how they need to be right and what they have to do, but rather just simply share how I respond emotionally to that and let them own their own reaction.
2 day's 2do
Address this situation.
